Bob Ong's Letter - Romantic and Funny

Just got this sa notes ni Len sa Facebook! ang kulit! :D

Dear Mr. Bob Ong,

Matagal ko na pong nililigawan itong ramp model na stage actress na nakilala ko recently sa isang party. Nasisiraan na ako ng bait. Pag nakilala mo siya, tiyak matutunaw ang utak mo sa kakaisip sa kanya.

Hingi lang po ako ng advice. Paano ko po siya mapapaibig? Bibigyan ko ba siya ng tula ? Haharanahin ko ba siya? Roses? Kalachuchi? Chocnut at sampaguita?

In lab na po ako. Ano po ang gagawin ko? Is she the one.

Lubos na gumagalang,

- Bartolome –

— ANG REPLY ––

Dear Bartolome,

Hindi ka talaga sasagutin niyang nililigawan mo. Napaka-old school kasi ng mga tactics mo. Wala nang gumagawa ng ganyan. Sa panahon ngayon, lahat ng bagay, nagtaas na. Nagtaas na ang gasolina, nagtaas na ang presyo ng bigas at mga bilihin, nagtaas na ang pamasahe, at lalong nagtaas na rin ng standards ang mga babae. Hindi na uubra yang siopao at kalachuci mo. Lalo na yung huli mong binigay, hopia at santan. Ano ba pare? Ano’ng era ka ba pinanganak?

Pero don’t worry. It’s not too late. May pag-asa ka pa. Hindi pa naman siya kinakasal at di pa niya sinasagot yung crush niya na basketball player. Kahit lamang siya ng sampung paligo sa’yo, daanin mo sa utak at creativity. Dahil aminin na natin, iyon na lang talaga ang pag-asa mo. Heto, bibigyan kita ng mga simple, tried and tested na mga regalo para di siya mapurga sa hopia at siomai. Sundin mo ‘to, tiyak na lalaglag ang bagang niya sa’yo. Mga medyo more than your usual regalong panligaw:

1. Bili ka ng century tuna. Ilagay mo sa isang napakalaking box—yung sinlaki ng TV o kaya box ng desktop PC mo. Tapos balutan mo ng magarang pambalot. Kuntsabahin mo na yung teacher niya sa Calculus. Sa gitna ng klase, bigla kang kumatok sa classroom. Pero dapat, incognito ka. Magsuot ka ng LBC jacket, magshades, at magsuot ng surgical mask. Pagpasok mo sa classroom, iabot mo yung box sa teacher, at papirmahin mo ng acknowledgement receipt. Tapos pabuksan mo in front of everyone. Tignan mong mabuti ang reaction sa mukha niya.

Later during the day, pag tinanong niya kung bakit Century Tuna ang binigay mo, iikot mo yung lata at ituro mo yung sign na “Omega 8.” Pag tinanong niya kung ano yung Omega 8, sabihin mo: “because you’re good for my heart.”

2. Mangolekta ka ng isang dosenang hanger na libre mong nakukuha tuwing nagpapa-dry clean ka. Tapos, sa bawat hanger, isulat mo: “I miss hanging out with you.”

3. Instead of roses, kuha ka ng tissue paper sa banyo ng school mo. Gawin mong tissue paper roses. Gawa ka ng isang dosena. Pag-abot mo, sabihin mo, “Ganito kalinis ang pag-ibig ko sa’yo.”

4. Bili ka ng tetra pack ng mantikang Minola. Tapos bilugan mo yung “with Omega 8.” Hindi na siya magtatanong kung bakit.

5. Bigyan mo ng ice cream cone. Dapat cone lang at walang ice cream. Pag hinanap niya yung ice cream, sabihin mo, “natunaw na kakatitig sa’yo.”

6. Bili ka ng sandosenang box ng crayola. Kolektahin mo lahat ng black. Lagay mo sa isang box ng crayola. Sa likod, isulat mo: “Walang kulay ang buhay kung wala ka.”

7. Bigyan mo siya ng mumurahing bumbilya. Alam mo na siguro by this time kung ano ang isasagot pag tinanong niya kung bakit. (para sa mga hindi maka-“gets”, kapag tinanong ka, ang sagot mo ay, “sapagkat, ikaw lamang ang tanging ilaw at liwanag sa buhay ko”, o kaya naman ay, “you light up my life”…

8. I-text mo siya ng: “Hindi tayo tao, hindi tayo hayop, hindi tayo halaman. Bagay tayo. Bagay!”

9. Bigyan mo siya ng calling card ng MMDA. Sa likod, isulat mo “para pag nagkabanggaan ang puso natin.”

10. Padalhan mo ng Happy Meal pero huwag mong ibibigay yung libreng laruan. Paghinanap niya, sabihin mo: “Ako yung freebie, at ikaw yung meal na nagpapahappy sa’kin.”

11. Sunugin ang kanyang bahay at padalhan ng hallmark card: “aanhin mo pa ang bahay mo, kung matagal ka nang nakatira sa puso ko”

12. Pagatapos sunugin ang kanyang bahay, padalhan siya ng isang box ng posporo, Guitar brand. unahan ang kanyang galit at sabihin, “ayan ang posporo na ginamit ko sa pagsunog ng iyong bahay, match na tayo”

13. Sa kalagitnaan ng isang malupit na bagyo, pasalubungan sya ng “salbabida”, wag payong, o mainit na mami. Pag nagtanong bakit? ang isagot mo ay ” ayaw kong malunod ka sa pag mamahal ko.”

14. Pag pumayag na siyang makipagdate, dalhin mo siya sa canteen at huwag bibitawan ang kamay. Pag tinanong niya kung bakit, ituro mo yun sign na “don’t leave your valuables unattended”

Handang tumulong lagi,

-Bob Ong-

People In Our Life

"In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say 'hello'."

 

We meet different type of people everyday. Not all of them are "Our" type of person. But if you think more about it, this person contributes something in your life. May it be bad or good. Whether you like it or not. Some people are worth knowing or getting acquianted with, you might learn something from them. Some are ones you don't wanna be like so you'll try to avoid things they're doing. Some can make you realize how good your life is. But there are also some who might show you how boring your life was. Some people pissed you off at the start of the day. But maybe this person needs some attention only you can give. [So why not spare a minute or two?] Some can make you smile even just a glimpse of their face.

 

In short, every person we meet everyday have, somehow, significance in our whole being! So smile :-) You never know who might be falling in love with your smile :-)

 

"The best way to cheer yourself up is to cheer someone else up" - Mark Twain

You got a dream... You gotta protect it.

I just need to remind myself...

[Dialogue from Pursuit of Happyness]
Christopher Gardner: Hey. Don't ever let somebody tell you... You can't do something. Not even me. All right?
Christopher: All right.
Christopher Gardner: You got a dream... You gotta protect it. People can't do somethin' themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want somethin', go get it. Period.

:-)

Decided to pursue my passion...

Something inside me is shouting "You should pursue your passion".

Life is too short to set aside the things you wanted to do. If you really want it, act now. God have given us talents to develop. It feels like time is running out for me.

I wish to have a wedding photography business someday or a photo studio. I wish to explore the world and go to places. I'd love to take pictures of how beautiful Mother nature is. I cannot just sit here and watch the world go round. Time passes by so fast.

I know there are lot of considerations to make but i know I'm old enough to balance things. I'm old enough to know my priorities. I'm old enough to decide how I wanted my life would be.

... so I decided to pursue my passion ... in photography ... so help me God! :)

Flu Vaccine

I had my shot today! Bat ganun? sabi nila kagat lang ng langgam? eh bat parang ninamnam ng langgam yung left arm ko ??? wahh!!! ganito pala pakiramdam ni Bonbon pag may vacinne sya. I need cold compress! wew!

 

Moving on...

"When we get used to things that are new to us, sometimes its really hard to move on. We wish things would stay the same... but in reality it's not possible. Our life is a journey full of rocks. When we stumble, it's still up to us whether we endure it or bear the injury. Life is a choice! And I choose to be on the right side." - Anonymous

iWeblympics 2009

The first ever sportfest of Offshoring Inc. happens last May 9, 2009. First team to arrive with most member wins a special price. Royal Blue Team [my team] was a 3rd placer.

I'm glad they organized an event like this. Most of the employees never had a chance to meet the others employees for reasons like shifting and project assignments. I also felt 'alone' for the first few months of my employment. No one to chit chat with. Just work work work! [I'm glad i'm not alone.] One of my team mate said that he grab this chance to know more people associated with the company and gain friends as well.

The event was a succesful one. We had fun. The food was so Filipino [Taho, Fishballs, Squidballs, cotton candy, Singkamas and bagoong, Buko Juice, Ice cream, and my fave, banana Q]. The fiesta games too [Sack Race, Sisid Game, Pito Game, Calamansi relay, Pinoy football and chinese garter. By the way, My team won the Chinese garter! hehehe!] And most of all, this event developed a camaraderie between employees.

ciao! :D